my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize