I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize