got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
