the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
