Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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