North Korea, Best Korea!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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