i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
