okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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