You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
