Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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