she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
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