I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
