I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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