I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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