What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
