oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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