Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
