Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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