No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I will pee on everything he values.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
