I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize