If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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