So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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