You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
