'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My vagina is very pro this idea
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
