Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
