im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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