More tranny stories later!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
