It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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