U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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