Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
