The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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