Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
