then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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