these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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