this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
