Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
