New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
