I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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