the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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