found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
