shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
