very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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