We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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