also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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