Don't make out with my wife yet
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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