im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
