id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
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Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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