are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
