Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
