he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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