The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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