u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
