I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
