Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
