i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
