wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
