Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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