TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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