pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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