Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
