If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
