Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
