Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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