Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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