She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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